Asher- your name means to bless
May 20, 2012 
Asher is a Quarter horse who is over 40 years old, he was rescued in 2009 and when he arrived at Autumn’s Reride Youth Ranch he was starving 500 to 600 pounds underweight. Asher was a sweet old gentleman ( that’s what Rebecca always called him) who was over 40 years old. From the first moment I heard about Asher until I met him. God gave me a huge connection with him. We had a similar path – starvation. It’s funny as I human I will never forget what it is like to feel the pain of hunger, or how much you have to survive because of lack of it. When I met Asher even though he never missed any meals and he was finally safe at meal times he would get so excited and when his meal was even a bit late he would pace his area and whinny lots and when the food came and he was always fed first he would about knock you over to get it. He did knock down Rebecca a few times.
Asher and I bonded from day one. I had an opportunity to spend 6 weeks last summer at Autumn’s ReRide Youth Ranch. I used to be terrified of horses and Asher he was a big horse who was half blind and deaf. Asher was so much like me, he loved to be loved. Maybe it’s because when you experience it so little you crave for that love. I know I do because I did not get it as a kid. Well Asher loved to be brushed in fact the more you brushed him the more he soaked it up, it seemed like this horse could never get enough. Last Sept. I wrote a blog about a Broken horse and a broken child. You can read about how this horse helped me tore down walls that no human seemed to ever be able to do. I will repost it. This horse changed my life.
I found this entry in my journal from last year August 7/11 Asher you are my knight and shining armor when I see you my heart skips a beat and I delight when you know I am coming. Even though you are almost blind with cataracts and deaf you can hear the ground move when I walk. I love you Asher with all my heart and soul and so glad you finally feel peace and happiness in your new home. I have noticed you are such a gentle giant and your beloved companion is Sissy. I love watching her stand by you and swat the flies off you. One of your other companions is the littlest horse Granny who you find great comfort in. She helps you eat better and her presence gives you such peace.Oh I thank God everyday you came into my life. I know through you and God you will be used in many healings not just my own. You love when the kids come over and love on you and brush you. You finally know the love and touch of a human. When you are no longer here with us God will use you in heaven like he uses Able. I will brush and love on you so much while I am here. Asher you are the wind beneath my wings. I will always love you and you will always have a big part of my life. The broken girl and the broken horse and how God used us both to heal all our brokeness.
On Monday my best friend went home to be with the Lord. The last 3 years of his life I know meant more to him then all the other things he went through. He finally had come home and was part of a terrific herd and had the best owners who loved him unconditionally and he had the best children and families to love on him everyday. Asher will be missed by so many but Asher taught us all that no matter where you come from in life – life is so worth living. I will so miss you my friend but so look forward to seeing you in heaven. I will never forget you in this life-time and the important lessons an old horse taught me.
One Word Wednesday
What can I pray for you today? While I’m praying for you can you please pray for my father in-law he’s been having mini strokes. Thanks I adore this guy so much. 
The choice
Last October I read Fierce Beauty by my good friend Kim Meeder. Before I ever read the book God had told me this book would change my life, I had no idea how or why it would. I was thrilled to be able to read this book and be able to share it with so many friends. I pray the book continues to change and use women to see God’s truth. 2 of the stories caught my attention and moved me so deeply the first part of the story is called ” A crown and a sword. It’s on pages 76 and 77. The women in the story has a glamorous crown and an ordinary sword. She has to choose which one she wants. I have inserted Kim’s part she wrote in her book because she outlines it so beautifully. This chapter was titled ” The Choice. This was taken from Fierce Beauty pages 115- 118. 
” Evil curses began filling the air you can’t do it your too weak, you deserve to stay were you are. She studied the crown again and the voices said to her ” Yes you love this.” She turned the crown upside down.
The crown it guarantees me the admiration, acceptance and honor of me. A life serving myself, bound public life of praise a private life of purposeless, selfish ambition. Reign as a princess, rule my own life, become my own God.
The women turned her attention to the sword in her hand. This sword would promise a life of ongoing confrontation, rejection, ridicule by many. Bond me to a life of serving others before myself. I would become a servant of the most high and a private life of love, peace, joy and eternal purpose.
The women let the crown fall. Wicked and foul screams shrieked around her. ” No, No, Noooooooooo. The women gazed at the former prison that she had built most of her days. Building, rationalizing, defending and worshiping.
Then she saw how much life had been spent enslaved. Around her were more vile blasphemies spewed out of the darkness. Staring at the lustrous hell she once embraced, she smiled again. This time it was a knowing grin of righteous justice. She realized as long as she wore this crown, she was already dead, but it didn’t have to be so. This was not her end. It was her Beginning.
The enemy had used the decadent fortress of selfishness to captive her thoughts, control her actions and nearly destroy life. The women lifted her foot over the crown and stamped it again and again crushing the crown. A hideous chorus of screams shrieked all around her. The darkness that had veiled the women began to burn away, right before the narrowed evil eyes that encircles her, the women was being transformed.
The women raised the point of her sword as high as she could, drew a massive breath and shouted loud enough for the heavens to hear. ” For the King Alone. Finally was gone the slimy man-made attempts at creating beauty. Gone was the pride, gone was the fear, gone was the selfish justification. Gone was the princess. In her place stood a warrior.”
After I had read this I re-read it and for months it stuck in my mind, it’s still in my mind today, because I feel I am this women. My crown was a sin I had in my life, a sin I had chosen to put above everything else in my life. My sin represents the same things for this women with the crown as me. I focused solely on me the crown would continue to give me what I thought was satisfaction. I believed the lie of the crown. That with it I would have everything I always wanted. Instead it brought me to me knees in weakness and it consumed me and all the things I had seen with the Lord, started to become a large dark vast hole of nothing. I was losing my soul everything that had every mattered to me was starting to drift away, my crown was controlling my life. So when I read this story I realized unless I gave up my crown, it would hold me in bondage forever. I had no idea how to give this up, even though I knew this sin would eventually destroy me I clutched my crown tighter.
From the day I read this, I knew there was freedom in the sword. I knew if this women could break free then so could I. I was ready to crush my crown stomp on it and never look back. I picked up my sword that day it’s not been an easy road but it’s a road where freedom and hope and restoration lay. Even though it may be the toughest road I’ve ever been on it’s a road of peace, joy, love and finally understanding. My life is changing one day at a time, for that I am eternally grateful.
Thank you Kim for following your heart on this book. I know this was not an easy book to write but thank you for helping me see that I needed a sword and it was time to let go of my crown.
Which will you choose to keep the crown or the sword? I hope this story sticks in your mind like it did for me.
We have been promised good things.
God has promised us good things in our lives. Sometimes it may look like nothing seems to go right, or disappointments seem never ending or we just don’t understand what is happening. God’s words are trustworthy, His words in the bible tell us and show us.
- God’s will for us is good. ” Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. ” – Rom. 12:2
- God’s purpose for us is good. ” For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. ” – Phil 2:13
- God’s work in us is good. “ For I am confident of this very thing, that He who begun a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ. ” – Phil 1:6
- The Hope God has given us is good. ” Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father who has loved us and given us eternal comfort and good Hope by grace. ” – 2 Thess 2:16
- The works God created us for are good. ” For we are His workmanship, created in Jesus Christ for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” - Eph.2:10
- The fight God calls us to win is good. ” This command I entrust to you, Timothy, my son, in accordance with the prophecies previously made concerning you, that by them you fight the good fight, keeping faith and good conscience which some have rejected and suffered shipwreck in regard to their faith.” - 1 Tim 1:18-19
- The fruit God produces in us is good. ” But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceful, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering without hypocrisy.” - James 3:17
- The gifts God give us are good. “ Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.” - James 1:16
- God equips us with everything good. ” Equip you in every good thing to do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen. ” - Heb 13:21
- God works all things together in our lives for good . ” And we know God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purposes.” – Roms 8:28
One word Wednedsay
One word that I can pray for you today. Let me know. Have an awesome Wednesday……………..
2011 – A recap of the year.
2011 was a year of healing, a year which was trying, a year of reuniting with some special friends, a year of losing a very special lady I had a chance to meet the year before. It was a year of depression, tears and making new friends. Most of all it was a year where I started to know that there was true freedom and I could strive for it.
On Jan 2, 2011 Jenni Reiling ended her battle of cancer and went to be with the Lord. Even though I did not know her long, she changed how I looked at life. When I met her at Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a place she worked at for years and one of her favorite spots. It’s one of my favorites as well. I was blown away that she had cancer she has battled from lymphoma cancer for many years in her life and now she had pancreas cancer. Pancreas cancer is aggressive cancer but this women was so full of joy, she laughed and you could tell lived life to the fullest. I’ve heard from many you’d never hear her complain. She loved the Lord so much it oozed through her. I fell in love with Jenni first time I met her and I wanted to spend all my time at the ranch with her. I had never met anyone like this. Before I saw her for the last time she gave me 2 of her books she wrote. One is her lumpy letters which is a journal of her going through her lymphoma cancer. It is one of the most encouraging books I have ever read. She writes about her cancer and how God had her tell everyone she met about Christ. Who writes about 25 things that are cool about cancer? Jenni does. Who runs a marathon after having chemo? Jenni did. ” Life is a string of trials that cannot be avoided, it’s simply how we respond to the trails of life, that determine who we are and shape our character. I’m trying to live everyday intentionally in light of eternity so that I will hear ” well done” in the end. ” Jenni ran 26.2 miles.
What Jenni left me with was no matter what God gives you in your life you can do anything you set your mind to it. Look at what this women endured in her life she never let it slow her down. I praise God He gave me an opportunity to meet Jenni, she was an amazing women whom I know has been missed dearly this past year by her family and friends. I look forward to seeing Jenni in heaven and been able to spend an eternity with her. Her book I have read many times it grounds me where I need to be in my life. I love and miss you so much Jenni.
In May my good buddy from Ireland came back to visit the year before we had met after 25 years of not seeing one another. Many of you know my childhood was super hard and it left so much pain but Karen and her family are a blessing from God. I never wanted anything to do with Ireland, would rather just forget I ever lived there. Karen came back to Canada with her husband Stephen and her mom and dad. I only vaguely remember them in Ireland so I had no memories of them. They were awesome we all had so much fun and Karen and I well we get on so well I think we laughed the whole time we were together.
For something that was so horrible to turn out so good between all of us is only God. How else could you explain this? For the first time since leaving Ireland I will now go visit Karen and her family. God is good.
In August I had an opportunity to go to Arkansas to visit my good friend Rebecca. She runs a non-profit ranch called Autumn’s ReRide Youth Ranch. They rescue horses and team them up with children and adults. A lot of the children who come to the ranch have special needs of some sort, I was blown away about a gal with autism who got on a horse and she transformed into a girl you’d have a hard time knowing she had autism. Children of all backgrounds come to find a friend in a horse, not only in the horses I saw friendships bloom with each other. Children who were teased in school and shy flourished and were helping others on horses interacting with others that they never had done before. They encouraged each other. It was truly amazing. Rebecca’s ranch is named after her daughter Autumn. She had committed suicide when she was 15. After many years of grieving God told Rebecca to open this ranch to help others who feel similar or just a safe place for kids to come too. I never knew Autumn but you can feel her presence at the ranch. She watches over it everyday.
Rebecca and her husband Steve are two of the most humble people you’d ever meet. Life has been hard for them, but like Jenni they have chosen to move forward and help others, I loved this ranch so much it’s so peaceful and you can see the love at this ranch. One of my favorites was a tree that was filled with socks all over the USA and from Canada. The tree represented the many blessings the ranch has been given. One of Rebecca’s favorite sayings is ” I’ve had my socks blessed off.” This small ranch served over 600 families last year. It’s one of the smaller ranches but huge blessings have and continue to come out of the ranch. I’m excited to see what God will do this year.
Rachel our friend from Louisianan came up to visit us. So we had a mini Crystal Peaks reunion. We had all originally met in 2009 at a clinic. It was lots of fun but too short. God is good with incredible friends. Thank you God for this incredible opportunity.
Its funny how God brings people into your life you’d never imagine. God brought a really Godly women into my life who has been an amazing encourager and prayer warrior. Her and her husband live in OK and she wrote a book which touched my life so much. Healing your marriage when trust is broken is her book http://www.amazon.com/Cindy-Beall/e/B004V8M8I4 I felt God wanted me to get in touch with her and it’s been such a Godly relationship. God opened doors I never knew existed. Doors that have helped me understand more about my life. For the first time in my life I see FREEDOM, I feel HOPE and I see HEALING.
Depression had crept back into my life but had no idea it was there until it got so bad I felt everyday I was drowning. I didn’t want to get out of bed do anything or see anyone. I sought out help and am now on a homeopathic medicine which has been awesome. I did not want to go the antidepressant route. This medicine sharpens my brain so much and it helps with physical and mental exhaustion but one of the best things is it has decreased my stress by huge. I used to feel stressed all the time and nervous and it has calmed me down so much and my compulsive behaviors have gone. I am motivated to do things now and my attitude is completely different. I’m so thankful for this.
Sorry this is so long but it’s hard to stuff in a year in a short blog. Thanks to all my friends new and old for all your encouragement and prayers. They are so appreciated. I pray 2012 will be a good year for you all. I cannot wait to see what God has for me in my life. I know it will be a year of learning. I’m excited.
Sarah
Walking one word Wednesday…………………………
One word Wednesday is a chance for me to pray for all my friends. Leave one word and I will pray for you today.
